Why do you think May was disappointed in Lily’s choice to quit her job at the magazine and financially rely on Matthew in the early years of their relationship?
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May was totally focused on achieving success in her field of study. She felt that was what success in life was. Her daughter was to be like her and be driven in a challenging field. She felt Lily was dropping out and not living up to her potential, or to May’s expectations.
I think Mei absolutely projected onto Lily her own issues and insecurities. I didn’t piece it all together until we got to Mei’s section at the end.
I agree, Emily. Mei was driven for several reasons. She wanted to continue to pursue science in the U.S. Early in her career she feared returning to Hong Kong if the labs closed and her work ended. There was another side to Mei that the author disclosed in the final part.
May is an educated intelligent woman, a scientist. She worked hard to be educated, to get out of China, giving up her true love to get to America. She had to prove her worth as a woman once in America. She wants her only daughter to be as successful as she is. She wants her daughter to be strong and to be able to take care of herself. To not depend on a man or anyone else.
May made tremendous sacrifices to create a better future for her family, as is common with many immigrating families. To see all the relatively easy opportunities for her daughter be not used and for Lily to rely completely on Matthew must have felt like a huge waste of May’s sacrifices.
After reading May’s retelling of her life to Nicholas, it was crystal clear why she was disappointed. But before I knew all the details I thought it was May’s Chinese heritage and education
I think May was disappointed that her child didn’t mirror her (May’s) ambition/drive. I think she wanted Lily to fight for a better future, and it frustrated her to see Lily always taking the easy path & just drifting along.
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I think May wanted Lily to be strong and independent. She didn’t want her to rely on others.
May had been through a lot and she wanted her daughter to be successful too.
May was driven and focused on what she could achieve in her career and give to the world and had expected the same for her daughter and was disappointed that her daughter didn’t have the same drive.
It seemed, even before we learned of Mai’s story, that she didn’t know how to be a supportive mom to Lily. She was disappointed and did not understand her daughter’s lack of drive and ambition. I think Mai also harbored deep resentment for having married the wrong man and unfortunately, that resentment projected onto Lily.
I think May was disappointed in Lily’s choice because to her work was the most important thing and that is what defined her. I also think May was secretly envious of not having found and married the write msn. She was jealous of the freedom Lily had.
In May’s childhood, she saw how women were treated. She chose and worked hard to be able to be independent if she needed to be. She wanted Lily to be able to be independent too, if needed. May also had a deep need to have a purpose and to make contributions in her field.
May worked so hard and endured all the suffering through the revolution I don’t think she could sympathize with Lily giving up her career to allow Matthew to support her.
May knew the career path she wanted quite young, and her career became her life. Lily did not have a clear idea of what career path she wanted to take, and her life was not led by her career. Neither could understand the other.
May was a strong, hardworking, driven successful women in her career. To her, that was the ideal for women and something Lily lacked
Mei was all about achieving. She ingrained it into Lily about success during Lily’s formative years. Mei was always trying to achieve her best in the scientific field and she felt Lily gave up too soon. Whereas Mei was driven, Lily found it easier to choose staying home depending on Matthew’s generosity.
I feel that May had worked so hard to reach her goals and felt so strongly about being an independent woman that it disappointed her that Lily was giving up her chance for independence. I as a mother of two young woman would have felt the same. I feel it is so important for woman in this day and time, are independent and not depend on a man for their lifestyle
It felt like Mae was disappointed in many of Lily’s decisions. She was disappointed that she was working at the magazine in the first place because she did not see this work as valuable. She did not think she was contibuting to the world in a meaningful way. She was disappointed even more because she stopped contributing even what she was. She did not see motherhood as valuable becase she herself never wanted to be a mother.