Like May, Lily and Nick each experience presuppositions and microaggressions about their identities based on how they look—for example, Lily is perceived as less American because of her Chinese looks and Nick is perceived as 100 percent white. In what ways do these presuppositions clash with how they perceive themselves? What do you think Khong is communicating regarding “Americanness,” i.e., the degree to which a person is American? What does a real American look like?
Nick seems more confused about his identity. Chinese? White? He likely benefited from being perceived as white more often than Chinese.
Perhaps the author is suggesting we are each a different blend of our ancestors. Am I more this or that? And how do I perceive myself? What concepts or misconceptions does society communicate? In some social circles I would be considered - fill in the blank! Too old to matter? Unpolished? Not wealthy enough to join the club? There are many “orbits” in our world. I belong to a few but certainly not all. “Americanness” is defined differently by members of different orbits; different social, political and economic circles.
Lily seems to think she is “less” because of her Chinese features. Yet, we hear her preferred to as “beautiful.” She feels she’s always an outsider and not perfect enough. I think her outside appearance made her not count enough on what was on the inside. Nick looks caucasian and his Chinese ethnicity isn’t recognized. He may have felt he’s not being recognized for the Chinese heritage he carries. Americanness can be anything or anyone, but you need the self-assurance to take pride in yourself and be the best you can be.
You can’t judge a book by its cover. There is no way to tell if a person is an American just by looking at him or her. The definition of an American is a complex one, as explored in this book.
I am not sure that it is her Chinese features that make her feel lesser. I think that it is more her socio-economic upbringing. She was always comparing herself to those with more money than she had or was used to. She tried to fit into Matthew’s world and his family and was constantly noting the financial differences. She was also comparing herself to the two other Asian women she met in the pilates class, who had white husbands and more money. She was also worried about her mother seeing her as a sell out if she did what brought her money, rather than something that benefitted the world.
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Nick feels like an outsider and he is unhappy because of his social interactions. His outsider status is a family trait. In college he continues to struggle socially. Nick feels he lives between being white and Chinese. He wants to be totally “American”, just like all the others. Lily was raised as an American without experiencing her Chinese culture. Her parents gave her experiences they thought an American child needed to fit in. Throughout the book she longs to experience her Chinese culture: Chinese cooking, Chinese traditions. I think they both felt that missing element in their life.
Both Nick and Lily struggled with their inner self more than their physical attributes. Nick looked like the classic and traditional view of an American. Fortunately, that perception is changing socially via of advertisements, magazine articles, book heroes/heroines, etc. Lily’s character is totally presented as a confused and unhappy person, who takes her self-esteem from others and doesn’t recognize her own achievements. Nick accepts his mother and her way. He grows up with no more self-doubts and confusions, than most regular people. It isn’t until he discovers his father and his father’s larger world that he becomes bitter and becomes emotionally unattached.
I think the premise that they were genetically created to resemble only one parent is far-fetched and an excuse for their lives. The idea that they can’t identify themselves is their personal perspective and response to their life experiences. Neither one of them is a fully developed character.
Well expressed Laura! I agree wholeheartedly and could not have said it better.