Zikora tells Omelogor and Chia that “every woman has a story…where a man has lied to her or betrayed her and left her with consequences.” Do you think this is true?
Yes I think this is true for many women. It may be as small as a little girl crush but I believe a majority of men don’t recognize how their cavalier ways hurt us. But then again many of us are too afraid to communicate our desires, concerns, need and wants and this often causes the rifts.
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At least in my generation, I believe that it is true. I hope that it is not true for younger women.
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No, I don’t believe this is true for every woman.
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While I believe it’s true from many, I don’t think it’s universal. I, for one, haven’t experienced this.
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I agree with you. Every woman has a story, all of them are not negative.
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This is completely true. I agree with Peggy that it is particularly true of my generation. I did find myself thinking of my past “dreams” to use Ms. Adichie’s word for relationships and in many cases there was strong hurt involved.
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This is as they say a sweeping generalization and I can think of many women who have been happily married to high school sweethearts that never were lied to or betrayed… That being said many women have been hurt by men and many men have been hurt by women,
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I don’t think every woman has experienced, but probably most have. I think when young and naive is when it probably happens to a lot of women.
Every woman —- no. Many women —- yes.
Zikora is wrong. It may be true for some, many or most women depending on their culture and on the era they live in—but likewise there have always been some, many or most women in various cultures and eras who have not had this experience. And that’s not even taking into account our different personalities and the role that chance plays in developing relationships.
I think Zikora felt embittered and that she was less than honest with herself and with Kwame. She made bad choices. Some of the outcome though was positive; she has a son she loves, and she has a better relationship with her mother.
I don’t think this is necessarily true for all women. For Zikora her story was so powerful: just as she is telling Kwame the news of her pregnancy he leaves – the last thing she was expecting. Being caught off guard resulted in a shock she had trouble overcoming. Also perhaps women talk more about the hurt they experience from partners while men may be less forthcoming.
I think this is pretty much the truth, mostly when you are young and dating. At my age, I think of what I would have said to some of the young men I dated and were hurt by. If only I would have had the “voice” I have now, but it probably made me who I am today.
I agree with Laura D and others. Every women , no adn many women-yes. So much depends upon your culture and ethnicity- and even religion! Some women have been treated poorly, of course, but not everyone! I am lucky to be married to a man who respects my opinion and treats me with respect. He has always been trustworthy and supportive. His dad was very much the same way. So I had an indication!