Why do you think Lauren quit “auditioning” spouses when she did? Do you think she made the right decision? When it comes to making choices in your own life, how do you know when you’re making the right decision? What’s your process for trusting the decisions you make?
It had to be hard “auditioning” men because she never knew what the new husband would bring to her life. Each man put her in a different situation that she had to figure out. I can’t imagine not knowing what tomorrow, or in some cases the next 10 minutes, would bring.
I think she knew she had to stop because in the absence of scarcity, there is the idea that there could always be someone better out there which can lead to always searching. For Lauren, she moved past that and took the approach that there are likely several husbands that are well suited to her and if she just picked one, she could make that life work (assuming no immediate red flags). I think she made the right decision so that she could put this chapter of her life behind her and start living her life.
Ultimately, if you are making decisions that align with your values and the life that you want to live, then you should trust your decision and know you are making the “right” decision for you since your “why” is clear.
At one point, she was confused on what she really wanted in a husband. A few were not her decision…they were not sent to the attic. Those few, she may have kept a little longer. Some changes were like minutes apart. I don’t she gave those husbands a chance. Lauren was tired of adapting to husbands…she wanted to settle down and have some security. May if everything around her changed with husbands she would have stopped auditioning sooner. Maybe! I felt she was really into the changes because she was more powerful. Getting some husbands back to the attic was hysterical.
As you get older, I think decision making gets easier. Maybe because you have less to lose or just more experience in making good decisions. When I was younger I made a pro and con sheet for hard decisions. I think that made some decisions easier but not all were the right decisions. So the list helped but didn’t guarantee making the right decisions. Again age and experience help…today I don’t fret over decisions as I did when I was younger. Not all my decisions were good choices but I can say I got lots of experience in walking them back.
I think the uncertainty and having no control over her life finally moved her to desire stability and making her own choices. In my own life, I’ve made both good and bad choices. One don’t know in the moment if it’s truly the bet choice. I weigh the possibilities and consequences and make the choice to the best of may ability.
I think Lauren got tired of the uncertainty that each new husband brought, a constant rewriting of her history, new friends, new job, flat looked different. But she was addicted to the possibility that the next husband would be “the one.” As the year progressed, she realized that none of the husbands were perfect and if she just picked the last one, she could and would make it work. I liked that she finally came to that conclusion, because that’s the way real life can work.
Good decision making comes with time and experience. Not all decisions are good decisions and not all are made with the same thought process. You have to be true to yourself to make a good decision because sometimes even though it might feel wrong during the decision making process itself,it then turns out to be one of the best decisions you have ever made. There are consequences with decisions. The more important the decision the longer the thought process should be - weigh the pros and cons first.
Lauren did not have a lot of choice in her last decision to hang on to the last man - sight unseen and name unknown. The attic was literally burning down!!!
I think Lauren realized that this had gone on long enough. Living hour life in a whirlwind would be very frustrating and not satisfying. I really trust my gut when making difficult decisions. It is right almost all of the time, even if it doesn’t seem rational at the moment.
I think Lauren quit auditioning after finding herself in increasingly unhinged scenarios where her own behavior (and expectations, and everything else) was spinning wildly out of control. She had an incredibly weird “come back to earth” moment that pushed her into some quality self-reflection. That coupled with likely overwhelming fatigue after crashing her way through over a hundred lives was enough to have her settling down.
Ultimately she realized that each husband was someone she found a way to love, and so she was able to trust her own instincts and decision making. Similarly, I find that stepping back and doing a bird’s eye view of my situation can help me make more logical decisions.
She stopped because she realized as my grandmother used to say: " you pick and pick and pick and choose a lemon ! " Not that she should have gone with the first guy she met but comes a time when you realize there is no such thing as perfection and when you finally meet someone that you love and he loves you --is kind, considerate, and others see his worth, then unless he’s horrible, minor flaws won’t matter. She should have stopped ages ago.