What was your opinion about his family’s reaction to Ben’s injury (“Everyone in his family apart from Fran…believed in stoicism as if it were a religion” p. 82)? How do you think they helped or hurt his healing?

Book Clubs Death at the Sign of the Rook Discussion
1

What was your opinion about his family’s reaction to Ben’s injury (“Everyone in his family apart from Fran…believed in stoicism as if it were a religion” p. 82)? How do you think they helped or hurt his healing?

2

I guess I’m a stoic as well, so I think it was all meant lovingly. Trying to minimize the injury and encourage Ben to continue as if he was whole. My parents generation (lived through depression and WW2), had to cope with a lot and had to be strong minded to survive. I think it helped him in the end. He seemed to be moving past his PTSD.

3

I felt the family reaction did not allow ben to deal with the injury. He was not allowed to express his feelings

4

Exactly. I think you have to deal with it before you can move on.

5

I think they were a little too stoic, he was better cared for by Fran and being at the farm.

6

Sadly, this is not an uncommon type of reaction for some families. Maybe they were doing the best that they could and thought that they were doing the right thing, but it certainly seemed to be of no benefit to him

7

I felt Ben would’ve been better served by an approach somewhere in the middle between his mother and Fran.

8

I agree, the response is one which is common. I wonder if stoicism is a way to survive? Perhaps it is not healthy, but there must be a reason that this lesson endures.

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9

I wonder if stoicism isn’t a learned behavior for families? Originating in the generations that endured wars and the depression as Sonya mentioned. After all, these folks were Brits who had lived with the terror of war in their own country. “Stiff upper lip” and all that. (Forgive the stereotype.).