What differences did you see between Nick’s and Sam’s upbringings? In what ways does Sam represent the exact opposite of what Lily and Matthew wanted for Nick? Do you believe Nick sees Sam as the person he would have been if his parents had stayed together?
Lily wants her son to be self-sufficient and to learn the value of work and achievement, not to rely on wealth and privilege. Sam was indulged and perhaps not taught that he was actually important to his parents on a personal level. As a relate, he became self-centered. I don’t know if Nick saw Sam as an example of what he would have been if his parents had stayed together. Lily’s influence would have been a major factor in Nicks upbringing whether she and Mathew had stayed together or not. That would have been the difference in his upbringing as long as she was in the picture.
Nick lived with his mother not even knowing who his father was. He lived a very poor life as far as material items as there was not a lot of money. Despite this he had a good life and was an extremely nice young man and he had a loving mother. His half brother Sam lived the good life. A beautiful home, anything he desired but unfortunately fell into the trap of wanting drugs.
Initially, Nick seemed jealous of Sam as he was raised with their father. He also assumed Sam was the favored son, yet when they became older, Nick realized Matthew (dad) perceived Sam as spoiled and essentially worthless. Nick had a loving parent who instilled non-entitlement values. Just the opposite of Sam.
I do think Nick saw the potential of having it all given to you as Sam had to disrupt self sufficiency. I also think Nick was extremely concerned that his father withheld love from Sam because he wasn’t living up to his expectations, something I think Nick felt as well with his mother at times.
Sam was raised with everything money could buy. Nick was raised with everything he needed including a loving parent. I want to believe Nick would not have become Sam if his parents had stayed together because of Lily and her morals. Did Matthew ever love Sam or was it just the person he grew into that he lost love for? Did he love his second family or was he just going through the motions? We didn’t learn much about the second wife.
I agree that Nick was jealous of Sam because he got to have their father which is what Nick always wanted. Especially after being so close to Timothy and his perfectly complete family.
Matthew did not seem to be able to connect to his children on a deep level. He kept a certain space between them. I imagine that the losing his mother and brother to death by suicide contributed greatly to his relationships with others. Nick had a mother who constantly paid attention to him. I think Sam felt alone and adrift in spite of his wealth. It is always difficult to know what might have been if the circumstances had been different.
Lily instilled values in bringing up Nick. Sam received everything he wanted and was selfish and self absorbed. I think if Lily and Matthew had stayed together Lily would have made sure Nick did the right thing.
It isn’t until later in the book, once we learn a bit more about the experiment that Otto and May did, that we find out one thing they were trying to prevent —- depression and suicide. Sam’s mother suffered from depression and Sam may have too. Nick at first may have thought that his life might have been like Sam’s, but later I think he is thankful that it wasn’t.
Matthew had great difficulty connecting to his boys. He always kept space between all of his family members.Nick who often did feel alone, had plenty of his mother’s love while Sam in spite of his wealth always felt alone. I really don’t know what the outcome may have been if the circumstances were different.