Victoria believes that her loss isn't traumatic enough for her to be in the group; in fact, she doesn't think she's grieving at all. What do you think about her reactions? How does a complicated family history impact the ways we process grief

BookBrowse Book Club The Seven O'Clock Club by Amelia Ireland
1

Victoria believes that her loss isn’t traumatic enough for her to be in the group; in fact, she doesn’t think she’s grieving at all. What do you think about her reactions? How does a complicated family history impact the ways we process grief

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She and her mother did not have a good relationship. It was not until she read her mother’s letter that she realized what her mother had gone through. She finally knew her father was not the wonderful man she thought he was.

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Victoria’s story was probably the most effective to me because I’ve gone through something similar with my mother, who I lost several years ago now. I always knew my grief was different than what one may normally feel when losing their mother, but I realized I was grieving nonetheless. I think Victoria’s reaction to her situation makes sense, and it was the most realistc portrayal of grief in the book.

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Victoria was not in the group because her mother died, she was in the group because she died! So of course she needed to be there! Complicated family history affects everyone in different ways, yet, Victoria’s death was not tied to her mother’s death. It truly was an accident.

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Victoria was different from the others in the group. She seemed very proper and didn’t want to display weakness in my opinion. I understand why she doesn’t think she has the same trauma as the others.

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I think that a complicated history with the deceased person has a significant impact on how a person processes grief. A difficult relationship with the deceased may increase feeling of guilt that not enough was done to mend the relationship while the deceased was still alive. The person, as in Victoria’s situation, may deny grief or feel uncomfortable mourning a person about whom she resented.

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I kept wondering whether the intentionality in how Victoria kept her personal and work life very structured were such that she knew it helped her deny and not deal with the trauma in her life. Her family history was certainly very complicated, and the missing pieces to her story made it all the harder to understand the grief hidden in her subconscious.