Until the very end of the novel, Birdie insists that she was in control and knew what she was doing as a teenager. Why do you suppose she spent so much of her life denying she was taken advantage of?
I think most abused women have a hard time facing and naming their situation. Just look at all the Jeffery Epstein girls who thought they were living a great, exciting life. Until they crashed and faced the uncomfortable truths.
I think the parallel Beth M draws to the Epstein victims is on point. She is supposed to be living a glamorous life, so any problems, she thinks, most be something wrong with her and not with the system or her boyfriend or her friends. She was way too self-focused to see what a mess the world in which she existed came to be.
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For Birdie to acknowledge she had been preyed upon would have destroyed her notion of “love” and approval from the world around her.
What teenager wants to admit they are wrong? They power through anything to prove a point…until their maturity catches up and they have to
I think it goes back farther than her relationship with the rock star. Her mother never seemed to give her any positive reinforcement, so I feel she was predisposed to believe everything was her own fault.
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Those four years had a massive impact on everything else in her life: her career, where she lived, her relationships, even her daily life.
Admitting that it was something other than love was like admitting that her life was based on a lie. And like so many other victims, she blamed herself for this, even though it was never her fault.
I agree with Beth M. No one wants to think they weren’t in control of their own life.
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It was so easy for me to see the predatory nature of the rockstar. This was probably less obvious before the Me Too movement, all of the attention given both the Epstein and Weinstein etc. We are much more aware of the abuses of power, especially in the movie business. Bitdie was the perfect victim for a predator given her lonely upbringing and lack of affection.
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Birdie was a very immature person. She apparently wasn’t raised in a loving, affectionate family, so all she had was her looks. She didn’t know how to reach out to others, or even how acknowledge when others showed her sign sof affection, Harriet & Theresa. She repeated over & over how empty she was, so for the rock star to be so verbal & hands on in his declaration of love, she had no background or pre-knowledge of affection or love to compare his gestures with. He was the only person she knew to care for her. If she admitted that the rock star only took advantage of her, then she would have to consider herself, unlovable.
How hard would it be to accept that no one, including her parents or Harriet or any other adult who knew about the rock star, was willing to help her? She must have felt so alone and devastated when she realized what the relationship really was.
It’s not easy to face the fact that you aren’t in control and you aren’t living the glamourous life you thought you were.
If you say you were in control, then you aren’t a victim. I think she didn’t want to be a victim or face the fact that she was a child and that her family and the adults in her life had let her down.
Beth stated it well! I don’t think they feel abused. Maybe they think:”it comes with the job”.
I do not think Birdie was in control at all.
I agree that no one wants to think they do not know what they are doing, especially teenagers! She may also have thought that she wasn’t deserving of anything else. Before the me too movement, there was also more of a cultural message that she wasn’t being taken advantage of…it’s just how things are.
Birdie came into her teenage years with such vulnerability due to her quiet nature, lack of friends, non-involved parents and lack of self worth. She had no tools or experience to help her gain control of her life. These things combined with her good looks and a model’s body made her the perfect target for sexual exploitation and exploitation from the fashion industry. It took years to emerge from denial and hopefully move toward understanding the realities of her life.
I think it’s common for young victims to hold on to that feeling of “specialness” the abuser gives them. The victims want to see themselves as special and loved and the victimizers take advantage of that.
This type of behavior is typical. This happens with abused women. If Birdie didn’t deny she was being used, she’d have to confront the reality that she was failed by all the adults that surrounded her.
I believe it’s a natural response, we all have hard times facing the truth, especially within our own lives. I agree with Beth M, The Epstein girls thought they were living high until it all came crushing down and the uncomfortable truths hit them in the face.
All of the women (and it is all women) who answered this question make the same point about Birdie’s denial of the abuse she suffered. Even the owner of the modeling agency tried to “keep Birdie close” as much as she could. Birdie’s mother did not help the situation. The comparison to the Jeffrey Epstein case is totally true.