Pru tells Ella, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What do you suppose she means? Do you agree?
I suppose that whne we compare ourselves to someone else, we come up short. So why compare yourelf to anyone? We are all unique and have talents and gifts others do not. Perhaps, we look for someone who is better at something than ourselves. That is self defeating. I think that Andrew is right!
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I agree with @Lin_Z, but I’d add it can also be comparing what you have to what others have.
Yes, I agree. What is the point of comparing? To either gloat or feel superior or to feel the opposite. Pursuit of joy, or happiness or contentment is not a competition. It isn’t a “ if you have this I’ll not have any” proposition. Also, nothing is exactly the same so there can be no true comparison when speaking about people. Embrace what you have , celebrate your achievements, be true to your own needs and then you will be truly able to be happy for others. Remember kindness is kindness. Meaning there is no difference in being kind to yourself and being kind to others. If you cannot and do not do the one you will not be able to do the other. So … part of being kind to yourself is not comparing your achievements etc to another’s.
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That’s thought provoking! When wee start comparing ourselves to others, we will see others better at something— more popular, more intelligent, etc. We loose confidence in ourselves when we do that. Instead one should take pride in our own talents and accomplishments. We all shine at something!
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Comparison almost always leads to envy…I’ve seen it and it can be destructive in friendships. I guess you have a true friendship when you can be happy for the other person’s good fortune and not dwell on your own shortcomings. Some people just not control those negative feelings which is sad.
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I was thinking about this a lot this weekend. I’ve got a woman I run with who’s addicted to long trail miles. I like hanging out with her, so I train with her. I keep thinking if she can do something, so can I (never mind that she’s 20 years younger). So yeah, comparing one’s capabilities to someone else’s is another way that comparisons can be destructive. It made me sign up for a 50k last summer and I was miserable. (And this year she’s signed up for a 50-miler!). I get sad when I can’t keep up or when I think something’s beyond my ability, rather than rejoicing in the events/speeds I can do.
Comparison generally leads to negativity because we tend to be down on ourselves. One should just enjoy what they have or read…not compare their experience to someone else.
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In this age of Instagram influencers, it is dismayingly easy to envy the perfect lives of others, while denigrating the life we experience up close. Moving from "thank God for what I have " toward a constant longing for more or better seems a recipe for despair. The joy is leached out.
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While I agree with what seems to be a consensus opinion about comparison possibly being a negative, and is how it is meant in this book, surelyin life it could also be looked upon as a tool for exploring and finding out more about yourself in a positive light. Realizing what you are good at, perhaps better at than other people, discovering your own special talents is a good thing. Self-discovery isn’t achieved in a vacuum. Even fearing or avoiding comparing yourself to someone and feeling like you always come up short says something about you. Rejoicing in other’s talents is an option.
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@Connie_K I hadn’t thought about the quote from that standpoint, but you’re right. Thanks for adding another dimension to the question!