One of the clinic’s patients, Miss Simms, tells Mimi that “Only a fool tells her lover everything.” (p. 77). What do you feel she meant? Do you agree with her?
Some things should be kept secret. I agree.
YES YES
We are all humans with flaws. I agree that some things are to be kept in the VAULT!
Miss Simms was in an abusive relationship, so emotional transparency likely made her feel extremely vulnerable, especially in a relationship where one person held most of the power and control. Her attitude feels less cynical to me and more like a survival strategy shaped by her experiences.
I think there is some truth in what she says for women in relationships where power and control are issues, because revealing too much can sometimes be used against them. At the same time, it also feels like a very lonely way to live, never feeling fully safe enough to be completely open with someone you love
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Miss Simms was trying to present an image of a woman who just provided fun and not worries. If you are in a permanent relationship I think you should be able to tell your lover everything.
No human being is required to divulge everything . . . to a lover, a friend, a family member, clergy, employer . . . or anyone.
However, some aspects of life are so critical, so important that they must be shared in order to have a healthy relationship.
I felt sorry for Ms. Simms who was trying to be tough, but was obviously in an abusive relationship. She was probably supported financially by man who didn’t truly care for her and felt like she could not extricate herself . . . or extricate herself yet. And the last thing she wanted to do was bring a child into that unhealthy situation. I wouldn’t blame her for not even telling the guy she was pregnant.
Miss Simms probably meant that honesty often opens a woman to a vulnerable position. Men had more power, so women had to protect themselves. Simms seemed to be more worldly; therefore, she had to be cautious, so no one would use her private information against her. Healthy relationships should be honest, but total transparency can be unrealistic or even harmful.
I certainly do agree with Miss Simms. Everyone has something they don’t want or need to share with others, whether it is good or bad in nature. Miss Simms obviously was depending on her lover for financial support as well as physical pleasure. And bringing a child into her current situation would only complicate the relationship or perhaps endanger the lives of both the child and Ms Simms. Considering the hard times of the era she needed to do whatever was necessary to survive. As in the story even women trained in the nursing field were finding it difficult in securing a job.
I think secrets are important in any relationship.
Miss Simms was caught in an abusive sugar daddy relationship. She might have been “kept” and scared to leave. She had to keep her secrets in order to survive.
I think we all have secrets although I like to think of them as circumstances that don’t need to be shared. Something that happened 60 years ago can stay there!