Niamh and her mother have had a difficult relationship for years. Why do you suppose that was? Was there anything either one could have done to ease the tension between them? What would you have done in Niamh’s shoes?
I kept thinking this felt like one of those relationships where years of small misunderstandings eventually become the whole relationship. Once both people expect every conversation to end badly, it’s hard to break out of that cycle. It also seems like Niamh’s mother wants to solve problems, while Niamh wants to feel understood, so they’re never really having the same conversation.
I don’t think either of them could have fixed it on their own, but I do think things might have been different if there had been more listening and a little less trying to change each other. If I were in Niamh’s shoes, I probably would have created some distance for a while—not to punish my mother, but to give us both some breathing room. Sometimes a little space makes it easier to have a healthier relationship later.
At some point, parents need to stop trying to mold their children and just enjoy and support the people they have given birth to.
Annie loved and cared about Niamh. But she should have loved her for who she was and not try to make her into someone else.
Niamh believed she didn’t and couldn’t live up to her mom’s expectations as well as Annie’s success. She toted her mom’s purse, but couldn’t compete with Leah even though she did have input into the plots. Sad. The author gave us a glimpse into their relationship, but I wondered how they interacted during Naimh’s childhood.
Catherine I so agree. We can’t mold our children, we’ve raised them to be individuals with dreams that they need to reach for. Our job is to enjoy and support them as parents while watching attain their goals. Annie need to do just that! Let go and ride the journey together.