Mimi’s sister Ginny sent letters home after being sent to a home for unwed mothers, yet her parents never opened them. Why do you think this was? What impact did their actions have on Mimi? How would Mimi’s life have been different if she’d been in communication with her sister?
I think it was cruel of Mini’s parents to not read the letters from Ginny and for not giving Mini Ginny’s letters to her! Why is it always the woman is punished for becoming pregnant and not married, but the man goes on with his life. If I were Mimi, I would have had a hard time to forgive her parents for treating Ginny so horribly.
They wanted to believe their oldest daughter did not exist. She had shamed them by becoming pregnant. Mimi had so much guilt, guilt that she should not have had. She missed her sister so much and was so sad even into adulthood. If she had been able to read the letters as they arrived her life would have been happier.
Ginnys’s storyline was heartbreaking for the reader and definitely influenced Mimi’s life choices. I cannot imagine abandoning a child the way Mimi’s parents abandoned their daughter. To not even answer letters was unforgivable. I think if Mimi had been able to read and answer the letters from Ginny, she would have let go of her guilt long ago and maybe contacted her nephew sooner.
The parents were horrible for basically throwing their daughter out and forcing her to have her child adopted. The fact that they didn’t read the letters or give Mimi her letters, just makes it worse. The parents were more concerned about appearances than caring for either of their daughters. Mimi could have had some peace had she read the letters at the time they were sent. She also could have reached out to Ginny by them writing to each other- if the parents didn’t intercept the letters first. I do remember unwed girls being shunned in the 50’s and 60’s. They couldn’t even attend high school if pregnant. It was a very judgmental time. Some love and compassion would have made it a much better world!
I agree with all the above comments. The parents were cruel, not to just Ginny but also to Mimi. Unfortunately a pregnant young girl was often treated this way, even today. It’s never the man’s fault!
It’s easy to think that the parents were cruel and uncaring but we have to remember that times were different then and a pregnant daughter was devastating and parents were shunned and blamed if their child got pregnant.
Oh, that midwestern judgment can be a cruel, harsh thing. The anticipated shame of Ginny’s pregnancy overshadowed their ability to love & support their child. They basically wrote her off, threw her away, and if I were Mimi, I would never be able to forgive my parents for doing that to my sister or keeping her letters from me. But I know that’s how some parents behaved in those days and in that place. I kept hoping those letters would reveal that Ginny hadn’t really died, so I was disappointed. But at least Mimi has a nephew and will someday be able to find him.
I think Ginny’s unopened letters represented how deeply her parents associated her with sin and shame. By refusing to open the letters, it was almost as if they could erase Ginny herself—and with her, the guilt and “sinfulness” they believed she represented. If they had opened them, they would have been forced to see Ginny’s suffering as well as their own responsibility in abandoning her, and that would have been much harder to live with. By ignoring the letters, they could pretend neither the problem nor the guilt truly existed.
For Mimi, Ginny’s disappearance must have created a deep sense of fear and insecurity. It likely taught her that love and belonging could be taken away if she misbehaved or failed to meet expectations. The very place that should have felt safest instead became conditional and uncertain.
I also think that if Mimi had been able to stay in contact with Ginny, she might have carried far less shame and guilt herself. Having someone who understood her and what women faced in that world could have made her feel less alone. I found that part of the novel especially heartbreaking.
I agree with all that’s been posted so far. However, one thing strikes me as odd. Considering how ashamed Mimi’s parents were of Ginny and pretending that she didn’t exist, why did the mother keep the letters as opposed to destroying them. It makes me wonder if there was a small bit of caring and that one day they would be read. Even after Ginny’s death there was an opportunity to destroy the letters but they weren’t. So maybe the mother thought that one day Mimi would read them so she could have some closure. I also think that even though Mimi struggled with participating in illegal activities, despite being desperate, I wonder if she was able to support her patients more because she didn’t want them to experience the gilt and shame that Ginny suffered.
Joyce_Montague, I think you have a valid point about keeping the letters. When I was reading that detail, I kept thinking there would be a change, and the letters would be read and maybe a tentative relationship. Or at least I wanted there to be a forgiveness.
While this book is dated in the 30’s the truth is that for so many families, shame, religious beliefs and pride still have parents closing out their children. I happen to know two gay people, that their families could not accept them and they are no longer part of the family. But in another family, the dad told his son, I don’t need to understand, I just need to love you. Amen!
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I agree with Joyce_Montague. I believe Ginny & Mimi’s mother truly loved her oldest daughter & probably hid her letters from her husband who she knew would destroy them. But she couldn’t let herself read them, even after learning of her death, probably out of guilt. Learning she had a grandson would have been too much for her to bear but would have changed Mimi’s life.
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I think Mimi would have had a better relationship with her parents. I also think she would be able to forgive herself for harsh words to her sister.
I agree that due to the time period & location in the Midwest, Ginny’s parents wanted total separation from Ginny. They were deeply hurt, embarrassed, angry and bitter yet perhaps it was too hard to toss the letters as they had tossed their own daughter and yet to be born grandchild. Mimi would not have struggled for years feeling extreme guilt if she had been able to read the letters Ginny sent to her. Thankfully she finally had the opportunity.
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Could it be that Mimi’s mother kept the unopened letters with a twinge of guilt? I suspect her husband, Mimi’s father, forbade her mother from keeping the letters. Given the leverage of the husband over the wife, he was the primary parent who “eliminated” Ginny from the family. I do wonder how many families had secrets. e.g. The younger sister who was really the child of the older sister. Cultural and religious pressures have fuddled up families for decades.