Mimi assists in a procedure on a12-year-old girl and afterwards wants to provide more help to her. Ada, however, shuts her down. “We cannot be everything to everyone, Mrs. Lukas,” she responds. “This is how we help people, by what we do here in the clinic. The rest we must leave to someone else.” (p. 135). What did you think about her stance? Given the time period, is she correct to limit their assistance?
Yes she did her job and that should be the end of if. It would not be good to get emotionally involved.
think Ada’s comment had more to do with surviving the work they were doing than with a lack of empathy. If they allowed themselves to fully absorb every tragedy, it would eventually destroy them emotionally. Becoming too personally involved in every case would not only leave them exhausted, but could also increase the risk of exposure and arrest.
Given the time period they lived in, the service they provided was important and, in many ways, one of the few forms of help available to women under such oppressive conditions. Ada seems to understand that they had to create emotional boundaries in order to continue doing the work at all.
Agree that above answers had the perfect perspective of the way Mimi dealt the difficult situation
I also agree with the comments above. It was natural for Mimi to get emotionally invested but boundaries were and are necessary to be professional and continue to focus on the good work they were providing.
I agree with everyone’s take on Ada’s meaning, and I was surprised by this part in the book. I thought it was out of character for her to leave this child essentially to fend for herself after her abortion. It seems, to me, Ada was passionate enough about women’s rights that she would have gone out of her way to ensure the child was protected.
My girlfriend is a social worker, and she is underpaid and truly seeing the worst of people. She has only told me a few things and I could barely comprehend what she was saying. My friend is excellent at keeping boundaries, knowing that she cannot be everything to each person. Without some separation she would never be able to assist the next person. She has told me that part of the burnout from the job is wanting to do everything and caring too much.
On a personal level, it really did bother me, this child had no support system or help.
1 Like
I have a friend who’s an occupational therapist that works with people who’ve had brain trauma. Another OT recently quit, and my friend had to pick up her workload, only to find that she was doing all sorts of things for her clients that were inappropriate - like grocery shopping and helping them move. It really put my friend in an awkward position when she had to reset expectations with these folks.
Mimi’s experience also reminded me of Stella in Women of a Promiscuous Nature. Apparently there was no support for abused girls back in the day. At least nowadays I’d like to hope that some professional would get Social Services involved.
I can understand Mimi wanting to do more in this situation but there needed to be boundaries because she would be overwhelmed if she tried to help everyone.
Ada was giving Miimi a valuable lesson on their limitations. They were not social workers and they could not become entwined in the lives of their patients. Healthcare workers and others in helping professions have to compartmentalize & recognize their limited role in a complicated world & social system. Moreover, Ada understood the risks they were all taking by helping to the extend they did. One thing that has to be remembered when discussing this book is that what Mimi and the other characters were doing was illegal & criminal liability did, in fact, attach.
Agreed, I thought about Women of a Promiscuous Nature too,
Yikes, I feel bad for your friend. I can see why the other person was tempted to go beyond her duties, but she did not really help the foundation or create a permanent solution. Maybe part of the reason she quit was that she was not staying within her job duties, so she was burnt out? This does not make it right, only a thought of why it is important to have boundaries. Tough situation for all. I admit it, I could not be a social service person or an occupational therapist, it would be so tough to see and not assist directly but lead to other solutions. Hugs to your friend for the job she does.
I agree with all of the other posts that can understand why Ada shuts her down. The natural, empathic reaction of most people is wanting to help, and be a support for others. The problem with that is one cannot be there for everyone without burning oneself out; and then there is nothing left for anyone. I can’t imagine how hard that would be for the people in those situations to see women and girls come thru on a regular basis and stay steadfast on just “doing their job”
I do think she was correct to limit their assistance. They had to protect the clinic and their patients.
Ada knew the clinic had to place emotional barricades in order to continue their helpful services. A 12-year-old child would have been difficult, though. I wondered if the author included this child as an example of what was happening in society. Not many parents would have sent their pregnant tween for an abortion. More likely, she would have been sent away to a relative or facility like Ginny was sent or thrown out to survive on her own.
I agree with Paula and Rose. With this kind of job you need to set boundaries for yourself so that you don’t get emotionally drained to the point you can’t help anybody else, no even yourself