Lottie starts looking at retirement homes in part because she’s afraid that she’ll die alone in her house, and no one will find her for a long time. What’s your experience with aging in one’s home vs. in a retirement community?

Over the course of the novel, Lottie starts looking at retirement homes in part because she’s afraid that she’ll die alone in her house, and no one will find her for a long time. What’s your experience with aging in one’s home vs. in a retirement community?

I want to stay in my home. :grinning_face: I guess we have to see how evertyhing works out, though.

As an “older” person who chose to sell my home to move to a retirement community, I could relate to Lottie’s fears of continuing to live alone and her indecision about facing a new situation in a retirement home.

I dont feel that I am at the age to spend much time thinking about this right now, but I am sure if I live long enough, I will eventually have to move somewhere where I can have some help. As much as I would prefer to live in my own home.

My mom decided to make that move and enjoyed socializing while still had the privacy of her apartment. She demonstrated that life is forever changing. I can follow her lead when my time nears.

I would like to live in my own home but I worry about if I will be able to as I age especially with multiple levels of stairs. My parents were able to stay in their home because of their five children that helped make it happen.

I would recommend Where River Turns to Sky, by Gregg Kleiner. My mother out to be near me and my brother and moved into assisted living. We’ve always swapped books. This was one she recommended. I think she was trying to prepare me. I would also recommend, Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande. For similar reasons.

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Since I am in Lottie’s age group, I would like to be able to stay in my house among the things I cherish. However, if push comes to shove, I going to go where I can be the safe and taken care of. It as simple as that!

It is kind of funny that Lottie the serial killer would worry about dying alone!

If I need to go to a retirement community, I hope I will take part in the activities and make new friends. Maybe start a book club!

I’m not old enough to be making this decision. But my parents are. My dad and stepmom moved into a retirement community and love it. They have such a social life and their life is easier. My mom, on the other hand, still lives in her house and at 82, it is a lot for her to keep up with. Mowing the lawn, clearing the snow, changing light bulbs - it all gets harder. I asked her 5 years ago to consider moving to a retirement community, and she was adamantly against it.

And bringing it back to the book, I don’t understand why Lottie just didnt tell Archie she wanted to spend more time with her grandkids. Or tell Morgan as Morgan I imagine would have been a huge advocate for Lottie moving to a community center near her. It felt like self-sabotage to not say what she wanted - to live near her grandkids and wait for someone else, her son, to read the tea leaves and ask her.

We moved to a home in an independent senior community and we, like most of our neighbors in this community of 1500 homes, thought then that this would be our last home purchase. Over the years there has been a steady slow flow of neighbors moving to a more-inclusive type senior community - one that provides phased living offerings such as Assisted Living, Memory Care, etc., along with independent living. We had not even thought of that. About 7 years ago in reaction to that observed trend, we put a deposit to hold a place in line so that we would have a choice available at some point. When we did that, we were told that our wait time (our secured place in the line of potential buyers) would be 7 1/2 years. We have since learned more about those possible choices, their variety, funding methodology, offerings, and the like. it warrants a lot of discovery and analysis from a cost, coverage, lifestyles, entertainment,and enrichment perspective. About 6 months ago we put our name and holding deposit in on a newer facility that we researched to the max. With that offering we have about a two year wait. If we get to the 2 years, we can decide not to move yet, and wait for another opening. One thinks that they won’t ever move from their current home, but in this day and age where families are scattered globally, costs vary across the country, and more is discovered about the needs of seniors, it is really good to do research even if right now you think you will not be moving. You never know what fate may deal you in the future. Better be safe, than sorry, or at the least, prepared.