Within the first few chapters, it’s clear that Lily was largely raised as an American without much knowledge of Chinese culture. In what ways does Lily yearn for a greater, richer understanding of her Chinese heritage? Do you come from a specific cultural heritage, and if so, how much were educated about it as a child?
I’m unsure if Lily yearns for knowledge of Chinese culture. She does yearn for her mother’s approval and likely would like to know May’s backstory. When in China she realizes how little she knows and is uneasy communicating with any Chinese locals.
I’m aware of my heritage, have visited several “old” countries but am not a member of an organization dedicated to any one culture. I did learn to say “uffda” and understand it has many meanings!
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@NanK I’m a little envious of your visits. My family is Hungarian, with my parents being the first generation born in America. I sometimes wish I had the courage to travel to Hungary to see where my grandparents grew up.
Interestingly, like Lily, my parents were discouraged from learning Hungarian when they were growing up. They did pick up a few words, though - finding out later in life that they’d learned what amounted to baby talk (e.g., they learned “hooshy” for meat instead of the word that’s pronounced “hoosh”).
I also don’t know that Lily yearns for Chinese culture; I think that throughout the book she feels like she’s excluded from it by lack of knowledge while simultaneously excluded from American culture because of her Chinese physical characteristics.
Kim, I visited Hungary in 1991. There were still Soviet street signs; however, the government was replacing them with traditional names. A fun memory was communicating with a clerk that I wanted a chocolate bar. We used our own sign language indicating “yummy”, etc. I recall saying a word like chocolate. She nodded her understanding and brought me a chocolate candy bar. We smiled and laughed. We didn’t know one another’s language, but we did know the universal meaning of chocolate!
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Lily’s curiosity about her mother and her Chinese culture were squashed at an early age, so it is unclear how much she yearns for that knowledge. It is clear that she wishes she knew/understood her mother better.
As an Italian American, I grew up hearing a lot about my culture. I have come to realize that a lot of my culture was transmitted to me implicitly rather than explicitly. I am Italian in ways that I did not realize until I lived in areas with less Italian influences.
Knowing her mother’s culture and some stories of her mother’s life as a child would have probably helped Lily understand her mother better. Also I think Lily would have been a bit more self assured, knowing where she came from, which then would have helped her understand herself better.
My father’s mother died when I was a year old, my father’s father before I was born. Both immigrated from Finland. The farm where my grandmother grew up is still in the family. Three cousins of mine and our husbands visited and had a wonderful reunion…or first union. I felt the presence of my grandmother especially as I looked over the fields she had walked, down the dirt driveway, it was very powerful. I left with the sense my grandmother was with me.
Lily never saw traditional Chinese culture displayed by her parents growing up. Whether she actually wanted to be raised in Chinese culture, I’m not sure. She did want to experience Chinese cooking and traditions but I don’t think she wanted to be immersed.
Knowing traditions and customs of your culture growing up keeps those things alive. My grandmother and her children raised their families following traditions. Those traditions have lasted through four generations.
Lily Chen is not steeped in her Chinese heritage mainly due to the closed communication from her mother. She is definately raised all American, yet it is apparent that she has foreign heritage, Lily wants to understand both her mothers and her own background and has so many questions without much dialogue. She has to dig for answers and often runs into roadblocks that only lead to more questions. As she matures she often becomes more insecure.
My own Irish ancestry was always spoken about in my family. It has led to my travels to Ireland many times as well as dual citizenship.
I am not sure Lily was yearning for an understanding of her Chinese heritage, I truly feel she was longing for a mother’s love and approval instead.
As for my cultural heritage, it is Sweden and Denmark based. My grandparents continued to follow many of their customs especially at the holiday season. To this day, the family stills gathers to enjoy a Scandinavian Christmas Eve feast. Our only regret is that we are no longer able to secure some of the specialities with the closing our favorite Scandinavian food store. Also four generations later the family still meets to make our holiday cookies using the cherished recipes that came with my great grandma from the old country. Presently our family has lost the language only my Grandmother and Mother were able to speak and understand it. And now they are both no longer with us so the family has lost that portion of our heritage.