June tells Lenore that “kids don’t even start to form actual memories until they are five or six” (p.35). Do you agree with this? What’s your first memory?
I do not agree with this. My family was living with my Grandfather when I was three - four years old. I remember him being disgusted with me because I was afraid of snakes. I also remember two frightening dreams thai I had about him chasing me. Also a good memory going to the neighborhood drug store where the owner let me chose penny candy for free!
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I don’t agree with this statement. Children start remembering things around the age of four, and many do so earlier. Norma was experiencing very specific nightmares and June was trying to calm Lenore’s fears.
I do have early childhood memories, but I think it’s difficult to separate family stories from memory.
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I think June was just trying to calm Lenore’s worries. Most people I know have memories from early in their childhood. My earliest memory was sitting on the curb that lined our driveway and feeding pretzel crumbs to ants. Other memories may or may not be mine - who knows what we “remember” just because we hear the story so often from others - but that one I’m sure is a true memory.
Whether or not kids form memories before the age of five or six, they have emotional connections with the people in their lives very early on and they suffer when strong, loving bonds are severed. June was rationalizing her behavior as an accomplice. And what does she think Norma’s nightmares were about? They were about the things and people she knew when she was four and younger. I have actual memories of certain dramatic things that happened when I was age five and younger, so June, from my viewpoint, is wrong on the facts as well.
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I think children can have memories at an earlier age than 5 or 6. I have memories from earlier than that. But to be honest sometimes it’s hard to decide whether I really remember something or I’ve learned it from old photos.
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I do agree with this because I also don’t have any memories from my childhood before that age, however, I do believe that our experiences from birth up to that age can shape our personality and our subconscious for the rest of our lives.
I disagree. My earliest memories are from before I was two—sensory memories, of places I was later able to identify from my family’s stories. Depending on the child and the level of family communication, I think most children begin to integrate their vague past and clearer recent memories from about 4 to 7 years old. That was my experience and what I observed in my children and grandchildren.
My earliest memories are from around four or five. However, I have snippets of things that I’m sure were from earlier years. I don’t think this is necessarily true.
In my role as a school,psychologist I feel uniquely qualified to answer this. In general, the precortex is not sufficiently developed to form memories until between ages 3-4 or even 5 years. However, researchers have also determined memories code differently…especially if there is an extremely emotional reaction. Thus youngsters who have witnessed a traumatic incident are likely to remember before this.
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My first memory is from when I was four: the trauma of losing the belt to a new raincoat!
When I was 5 years old, I remember my new born sister coming back from the hospital with my mother, her left foot in plaster. I remember it clearly because I cried and cried, and my uncle told me to “shut up”.
Many of our memories before five may simply be the stories we have heard from our family members. However, during our early years many of our character traits and feelings of self worth are formed.
I think Lenore was saying that we don’t make memories before five to cause Norma to continue to discount her “dreams” about her true family.
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Memories are interesting. I do think kids can have memories before 5/6. I believe how well they can articulate them is a little bit dicey. I think what is probably more important is acknowledging that kids may not be able to articulate memories between the ages of 2-6, but the bodies remember and hold on to a lot more than we give credit [for example, the dreams Ruthie has]. I believe emotionally that children can retain and hold onto things, which is equally and probably more harmful if they are in an unhealthy and toxic environment/household. I think language and reflection come later based on the traumatic event and the person’s willingness to reflect.
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I don’t agree with it. I remember playing with my cousin in mud puddles before we were old enough to go to school and my fourth birthday. I also think while there may not be concrete memories, you have emotional memory and certain things may trigger those feelings because of experiences at younger ages.
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I totally disagree with this. My first memory is my baby brother being born and I was three at the time.
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I can clearly remember several incidents before I was 5 or 6. Although I didn’t attach much emotion to them. I remember my mother coming home from the hospital with my baby brother when I was 3- but I don’t remember her being pregnant.
I think that June was trying to brush off Lenore’s worries that Norma would remember her real family. She didn’t seem to comfort Norma when she had the dreams though.
When I heard this in the story I shook my head. I know of people who have memories earlier and it was obvious that Norma did have memories from earlier and they gaslit her about them saying they were dreams. I felt very sad that Norma was treated this way.