Isabel and Elena don’t understand why their mother is so intent on helping her father, even though Steve was never a part of Cara’s life. Why do you suppose Cara felt she needed to support him? What would you have done in her place?
I think she missed having a father and wanted to get to know him in the last days of his life.
Cara had always loved and missed her father. And she was 58 years old at that point – wise enough to appreciate that life is too short for regrets, grudges, and missed opportunities. She wanted a chance to connect with her father and get to know him. She had a strong sense that something was wrong, based on the way he worded his invitation and referenced still being on his feet, and wisely intuited that she might not have another chance to spend time with him. Being an adult child and interacting with aging parents is a far different experience that being with them while growing up, and even though they had corresponded, she had not previously been afforded the opportunity to see her father through her adult eyes. I fully understood why she felt she needed to make the trip, as well as why she gave him the money he asked for (since she could afford to do so). I’m certain that I would have done the same thing.
3 Likes
I understand why she wanted to see him, but I personally am not that forgiving. She has a great ability to show mercy.
Cara wanted a connection with her father. She was experienced enough in life to know you rarely get multiple chances to make a connection. She sensed her father was passing and she wanted to see him and have a chance to get to know him before he died. Whether his main goal in contacting her was to procure money for his medical needs was irrelevant, she wanted that opportunity before it was gone forever. I am not sure I would have gone. I might have sent him funds to make his last days easier, but, I would have been less likely to visit him. It would depend , I think, for me, on what my memories of him had been, and I most likely would have called my mother and asked her for her opinion .
1 Like
I think it was great that Cara went to visit her father though I wish she had brought her daughters on the trip. It would have nice for them to meet their grandfather and support her mother. Cara has a very kind heart, realizing her father doesn’t have long to live, helping him out and not getting angry about it. Because her father didn’t have long to live she knew she could handle the ‘surprises/secrets’ that came her way.
Curiosity perhaps. There’s often the need to put things to rest when people are estranged. In the end I think it’s love.
Cara had a need to get to know her father, lest he continue to be a few words on paper for the rest of her life. Our parents are the people who knew us at the moment of birth and whose genes helped to shape us. So, I wonder if, in addition to Cara’s desire to know her father, she also wanted to know the other half of her origin story.
There was another story of abandonment that seems pertinent. Brody ditched Cara in an unfamiliar city. In turn, she so totally forgot him that she didn’t know that he’d died in an auto accident in Maine. But, her former boss, who shared the news, kept saying, “I thought you two were friends.” Did she learn from that experience that she didn’t want to emotionally abandon her father in the way she abandoned Brody?
I think I would have made the trip to spend some time with my dad, and get to know him. The money part bothered me. I don’t think I would have given him money. Seems like that was what he was looking for.
1 Like
I think that one of the saddest things that can happen to someone is to be angry with someone (someone you actually want to love, like a family member) when they die. You hold it in and can’t change a change, and it is akin to poisoning yourself. I think Cara instinctively knew that, and the trip was wise and healed a part of herself.
I think that Cara did want to meet her father before he was gone and she was able to afford the trip. She certainly showed more mercy than I think I could have given the situation.
I can see Cara’s curious about her father, but after that time frame I think I would have been over it. I would not have traveled to see him nor would I ever have given him money.
‘
Guilt is also a big part of this book. Cara had not experienced her father in her life but I’m sure she always wondered about him. Her mother wanted to show mercy on the man that she once loved and also wanted to assuage her own guilt. Cara wanted to help her to connect.