Is there a quote or scene in Daughters of Shandong that stood out to you? Why do you suppose it resonated?
I shuddered with sadness every time Mom was ordered to kneel and obeyed the order. She was submissive to her mother-in-law and yet she was so strong and determined during their travels. When the family arrived in Taiwan, kneeling and servitude was expected and once again obeyed. Very sad situation. I suspect that this “custom” was in other cultures even in American families although perhaps hidden. Kneeling might not have been ordered, but I recall hearing of ironclad matriarchs who ruled their children and their spouses.
2 Likes
p. 333
“I was a thief who had stolen her wisdom, and now she had caught me.”
What transpires is a theme in this book: The gift of a stranger and how it can change a life.
There were many scenes that stood out to me. I felt the same as NanK every time Hai’s mother was compelled to kneel in front of her mother-in-law. After she produced a son, she was finally able to say no. This was both celebratory and sad to me. I was horrified when Hai was forced to kneel in front of the Communist soldiers when she was arrested.
“Chinese people have a saying, Zhong nan quing nu which mens “Value men; belittle women.” To have it be a saying, presented and I assume, said, so matter-of-factly, taken as a truth, stunned me. I guess I am used to sexism and misogyny being more subtly acknowledged hereabouts, but wow!
“Belittle women” implies action and behaviors, doesn’t it? “Ignore women” would be less harmful. Sad!
“For the rest of my life, I would never feel completely safe; even in our best moments, there was a voice within me that questioned when we might be forced to flee again.”
Hai feels the lingering doubt and uncertainty even as a secure adult. It shows what long-term effects of the traumas of war can do to a person/community. The novel shows a realistic portrayal of the effects of war, starvation, and being unhoused when exploring adapting as survival strategy.
You’re absolutely right, NanK! “Belittle” is action—purposely making fun of, denigrating… I guess it’s right in the word— Be. Little.
The first quote that stood out to me was in the opening pages,
“Most important, I choose to remember love.”
That very much set the narrative tone, despite being very much at odds with the opening scene in which Nai Nai kicks the mother out of the house. This quote struck me because it speaks to how differently we can choose to remember incidents, even the most harrowing incidents, in our past. I think if the book were told from another character’s perspective, such as Di’s, it would have had a much different tone, much less hopeful. Later in the book, when they are about to embark on the journey to Qingdado, Hai says,
“I didn’t know what the journey would be like, but in the unknown there is hope.”
I thought this was an interesting perspective as for so many people in the unknown lies fear.
I thought throughout the book that the father was weak and didn’t place his wife and daughters over his mother. When the father finally stood with his wife and daughters was the first time that I felt there was really hope for them.
Di had found an old brush and given it to Hai. When the social worker gives Hai some paper and an ink stone, she says, “Holding the brush in my hand made me feel elegant, even with my worn clothing and dirty fingers. For so long I had lived like an animal. Writing words… allowed me to reclaim some shreds of my humanity.” No need to elaborate on that beautiful statement.
2 Likes
There were many lines which stood out, but one that hit me particularly hard was on p. 266. " In a world in which girls were a gift for other people’s sons, how could I be confident that father would send me to school?"
The quote that stood out for me took place when Hai confronted her mother about giving Ming (the son) the formula and Hua (the daughter) only rice water. The fact the mother kept true to her traditions of valuing males more than females was sad to me. Hai took matters in her own hands and bought formula for the little girl. The quote: “Maybe, at the very least, I could interrupt the inheritance of our own inferiority from generation to generation, and break this damaging cycle.” This statement gives me hope that things will change for other female children born in a Chinese Culture. Often it takes just one person to make a stand in order to promote change.
1 Like