In the end, why do you think Norma’s mother did the very drastic thing she did?
Because she is a heartless woman who apparently had no sense of self-worth unless she was a mother, had no feelings for anyone other than herself and could not be bothered to work through this SOLVE-ABLE problem legally. There is absolutely no excuse for her, or the others who helped her, ie. her husband and sister.
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I agree with you completely. Her mother was a terrible, narcissistic woman and her sister and husband had huge problems, too. I cannot imagine going along with kidnapping instead of getting her the help she needed.
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She was so saddened by the death of all of her babies. Unfortunately she saw an opportunity of taking this young girl as her own. She talked herself into thinking the young girl was not being taken care of by her family as she was sitting alone on the big rock. I am thinking due to all the pain in her life she definitely had mental problems. Shocking to me that her husband the judge was okay with this.
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My feelings mirrored those already mentioned, but I believe her grief overrode all sense of reality for her. I doubt she saw anything beyond her greatest need which was to have a child of her own. There is no question she needed help desperately; in this condition, it was hard for me to feel anger at her actions. The judge, however was completely aware of his actions. He, I held completely responsible for the pain of all those impacted by the abduction of Norma.
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Yes. Abducting someone’s child and never telling the truth or being responsible for one’s actions is horrific. She caused great pain and irreversible ramifications of her actions. So much mental and physical trauma to Norma. If Norma knew that her mother’s miscarriages didn’t have anything to with her, like it was a condition that she would be afflicted with, she may have been still married or even adopted a child. I feel terrible for both her and her husband. But the mother was also was severely ill; depressed and was not rational. What is unbelievable is that those around her did not get her the proper help. Instead they condone her actions. They didn’t rectify her wrongs, or think of the other parents and the child. Waiting until she passed away was bettering than never. But much damage had been done. I agree that the judge and the aunt are completely responsible for the train of all those impacted by the abduction. However, the judge was probably traumatized in another way, and needed help too. Seeing his wife suffered so horribly. He did whatever that could make her (and himself) have some relevance of happiness. But he knew what he was doing was wrong. And that is why they were always looking over their shoulders and trying to ignore Norma’s dreams.
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I guess I feel like “heartless” is a little too extreme. Maybe self-centered and thoughtless would be more apt. I think that she was so completely immersed in her own problems that she really didn’t even think about the harm she was causing someone else.
Lenore, Norma’s mother, must have been mentally ill. That is the only explanation that makes sense to me to explain her obsession with having a child and her total lack of empathy for Norma/Ruthie’s birth family. In the book, I get an understanding of Lenore and her belief that she must have a child in her life. What is more difficult to understand is how did her husband and sister justify continuing the deception that Norma was Lenore’s birth child? That aspect of the novel struck me as unrealistic.
I think her feelings of grief for the miscarriages and deaths of her babies definitely impacted Norma’s mom. I wasn’t left thinking or feeling that this over rode her sense of reality though, because of the thousands of times she consciously decided to hide the fact that she stole Ruthie. I think she used her grief to justify her actions and that she held it over others’ heads (Husband and Aunt June) as a way to manipulate them to stay silent.
Even though I agree with your comments about the judge, I couldn’t help but wonder about his values. Personal happiness over truth and justice? I struggle knowing the judge chose to remain silent and ignore the fact that Ruthie/Norma was kidnapped. He could have reported the issue, then tried getting his wife the help/counseling she so desperately needed and looked into legally adopting a child that had no parent.
I agree with all the comments. The thing that upset me the most regarding the situation was June’s inaction. She and Alice could have and should have done something right from the very beginning. Alice’s excuse that she loved her sister did not absolve her from not going to officials and getting Ruthie back to her really family.
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Totally agree with you, @Patricia_Hawley. Lenore was obviously having emotional issues that should have been addressed, and her husband was putting his marriage and the happiness of his wife ahead of what was right. But I feel June and Alice weren’t as close to the situation and should have acted. It’s amazing to me that none of them considered the pain Ruthie’s family must have been enduring.
Norma’s mother was a damaged person who knew abducting a child was wrong. Her husband, a judge, certainly knew it was wrong. She did not give any thought to the reality of what she was unleashing, despite numerous opportunities to right this grievous wrong. Not one thought to the biological Mother of this child. No sympathy here!
Her desire to be a mother overclouded her judgment of the right and wrong, or how her actions impacted Norma as well as those close to her. I think we’ve all faced times in our lives where we had to evaluate our own morals and beliefs between what’s right and what we really want. I hope we all behaved morally better in our unique situations.
I agree with those who see Lenore as mentally ill—which doesn’t mean she wasn’t also a narcissist, but we don’t know about her life prior to losing so many babies, in an era where marriage and motherhood was considered a woman’s only proper job (she calls her sister and Alice “freaks” for rejecting that). So her grief was heavily charged indeed. And serious grief does affect our thinking on the level of our brain cells.
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I agree with the comments here about the wrongness of scenario- kidnapping a child is a heinous action, even if the individual is mentally incapable of seeing it that way in the moment of the act. Lorena’s constant evasion via headache shows she knew it was wrong after the fact. All of her family behaved in a cowardly manner towards her, giving in to her manipulations.The historical time period of the 1950s, when Indian school still existed and reinforced an unequal society, lends a tinge of plausibility for the other family members to accept Lorena’s assertion of Ruthie’s abandonment. They were all victims of Lorena’s unbalanced emotional life.
She was mentally ill because of the many babies she lost. What she did was horrible. I got very tired of her having "headaches "whenever something came up that she needed to explain. Perhaps I needed to feel sorry for her, but I didn’t.
I think she convinced herself or tried to (she was always so fearful that it would be found out) at the time that the child was abandoned and needed saving. She had deep grief from her losses and put that above what another mother might feel from loss. It was selfish and not a rational action. Her husband should have intervened and got her some help.
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@Donna_J, that’s a really good point and an aspect of the situation I hadn’t considered. I remember as a child I brought home a cat I was sure was homeless, mostly because I wanted a cat really bad and convinced myself no one wanted this one. Granted, taking someone’s pet isn’t anywhere near as major as taking someone’s child. But thanks to your comment I think perhaps I’m a little more sympathetic to how Lenore talked herself into thinking abducting Ruthie was a good idea.
It also sheds light on her frequent debilitating headaches. I’m sure she always felt guilt and uncertainty about what she’d done, and always feared she’d be found out.
Still don’t understand why those around her didn’t step in.
She was grieving, desperate, selfish, Manipulative and mentally unstable. Any or all of these words could describe her actions. But none of these words condone what she had done and how her actions devastated and changed so many lives.
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