How does the book explore the role of a person’s past in their present and future? Did it make you think about anything in your own past?
Silber illustrates the ways in which our past impacts our present and future. And that people respond in a variety of ways to their own past mistakes, their interactions with others, etc. The most striking examples of this are, of course, Ivan and Eddie, and, to a lesser extent Ginger. Ivan carries the guilt and shame of abandoning Eddie his whole life, and is a coward who is never able to own up to and account for his mistake, even to himself. But Eddie grows, evolves, matures, and eventually finds not only his own peace, but the ability to forgive Ivan and wish him well, wherever he is. Ginger also moves on, but experiences a needless loss – she never realizes that Eddie did not die that night. Eddie also experiences the loss of Ginger, but in that regard he is also honest with himself and accepts his own weakness at the time, recognizing the reasons he needed to be away from her, as well as his deep love for her.
Of course, reading a book like this reminded me of certain situations in my own life, and I paused to consider my reactions to and handling of those circumstances, as well as the various ways in which they impacted me, the choices I made, and influenced how I ended up where I am today. To read a book like this and not engage in such reflection seems to me to miss the whole point of the exercise.
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Certainly, our past plays a large part in our present and future, as we see in the book. If bad things happen, we can be brought down by them and there is a negative impact on our future. Sometimes we learn and grow from those bad things and they end up having a positive impact on our lives. I feel like Eddie was the one person in the book who had a near-death experience and yet overcame it and even forgave Ivan for betraying him.
The book pretty much follows an outline of present/past/present etc in each chapter. I didn’t find anything earthshattering here, because how can our past not effect your present/future. I found by story 3, I was losing interest in the way the book was written. No, it did not make me think of my past or present. I could not relate in anyway to these characters.
Early on (p.49), Ivan says “Why would I think everything about my past had entirely disappeared? What kind of deluded moron would be so sure of that.” That sort of sums it up, I think. Even if others didn’t know what Ivan had done, he still carried it within himself. Ivan’s past was part of his present and future.
I guess it does make you think of things you did, mistakes that were made. I can’t imagine abandoning my friend, but I never put myself in such a situation. (Thank goodness). As I did grow up in the 60’s and 70’s and not without experimenting with different drugs! Nothing hard, as I was way too scared!!
I think Ivan suffered the most throughout his life for his betrayal. Eddie was important to him early in his life. His actions left a deep scar that he couldn’t confront and therefore never could be resolved..
It was a good illustration of how someone’s past may set them up for their future, good or bad. I have certainly seen that in my own life. Perhaps I should have had more mercy for my ex-husband as Cara did for her father.
All I could take from this book and the characters was remorse. And I do not have much in my past to be remorseful for. I try to keep it real in the moment and if in doubt will quickly question what has happened or been said, to clean things up. To me remorse is the act of not taking care of things as they happen and I don’t let that happen.
To me, this is the point of the book. Every action, decision, etc. that is made in our life effects others in ways we may never know. We may not understand how it effects our own lives either. Not sure that Ivan realized how impactful that horrible decision was.
I think everyones past shapes their future in some way. We are constantly evolving in our own lives and every action we take, ultimately has an effect on other characters in our life story. Sometimes we can see the effects, and we also may never see what our actions have truly done, whether it be positive or negative, in other peoples lives. This book did a really good job illustrating that.
I read this book to get overmyself with my decisions of the past. I find myself close to characters and how one incident can affect minor and major characters in our lives.
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