Elsie is a storyteller like her mother; a young woman who desperately wants to believe in “happily ever after.” How does that outlook affect her choices about motherhood and marriage? Eventually she comes to understand that “the most important stories are the ones we tell to—and about—ourselves,” and that she is stronger than she (or anyone else) knew. Do you agree that sometimes we just need to “rescue [our] own damn self”?
Elsie definitely believes in fairy tales and magical thinking. Jed is her Prince Charming and she honestly believes he’ll provide her with all she has yearned for. She is a romantic and wants nothing to do with farm life. In fact, until Jed begins to abuse her, she can’t seem to understand his true nature. She comes to realize that fairy tales are just stories and if she wants to get what she desires, she can’t rely on others to do it for her. She has begin to experience what we call “adulting” today. She’s going to pull up her big girl panties and get on with life. Good for her!
Elsie viewed the world through rose colored glasses and naively believed marrying the handsome guy with a bit a money would result in Ozark fairy tale. But, when life got real (and tough), so did she. The rose glasses came off and she did what was necessary to survive and thrive.
I totally agree that sometimes we need to rescue ourselves. Elsie thought being a mother and being married was security. She really had the ability to support herself and had family who loved her.
Elsie was certainly naive in the beginning of the story falling in love with a lazy guy who lacked any responsibility for his actions. She believed she could make a happy family with enough love for this guy. When it didn’t work out, which really became evident after he physically abused her, she realized that she would have to end the relationship and go her own way without fear. She did accomplish this to her credit.
I think we always need to be our own advocate and I have tried to encourage that in my daughters and now my granddaughters. You can not be a positive force for others if you are not true to yourself. I think that Elsie suffered the most from not having a mother because she knew the truth of her mother’s death and she was not her father’s confidant like Shine was.
Learning to take care of oneself is such an important lesson for everyone, but especially women. I was happy when Elsie saw who her husband really was.
Don’t we all know a woman who was married and later became divorced or a widow and was totally not able to take care of themselves?
I feel strongly that women must raise strong women who are not so blinded by love and belief that they don’t have their own agency. I am in full support of helping your partner and supporting them but not when you are emotionally or physically hurt or always placed in a secondary position.
Elsie was a dreamer and thought that marrying a handsome man with money would create a happy life. How wrong that ended up being! Luckily she had a good family to help her see the truth and she finally came into her own and discarded him. She was stronger for doing that.
I loved this book on so many levels- but especially the well drawn and interesting characters of the women who were all (eventually) strong women. I also liked the idea that anyone can be a father but it takes a special man to be a daddy.
Indeed! I think that sometimes our sense of ourselves as the “fixer” or “healer” is based on a sense of our own unworthiness. Often, the “other” perpetuates that false sense of unworthiness. Once one gets a taste of being worthy, strength begins to build and life can unfold.
Elsie wanted a life different than what she had on the farm and felt that love and marriage were her heart’s desires. Even though her sisters never like Jed, Elsie learned that she had to rely on herself to make changes in her life after he abused her.
Elsie wanted a fantasy world and I think she settled quickly. I was glad that she found her inner strength. I think we grow stronger and more confident when we have to handle difficult situations.
I learned very early in my young adulthood that I had to take care of myself. “What do I need?” isn’t necessarily selfish but important to address so one can love and care for others. Staying centered is a key to my well being, yet.
Elsie was a dreamer. She chose motherhood and marriage without realization that her choices were bad ones. The “ivory tower” she created eventually came crashing down. She realized how foolish she had been and made some real changes - Jed was sent on his way.