Do you think Sally should have told Ella the truth about her father after his death, or even before? Had she known, how do you think it would have changed her relationship with her mother?
I think Sally should have tried to give her side of the story because it cost her valuable years with her family.
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I agree that Sally should have tried. But I do wonder if Ella would have accepted it. I was much closer to my dad than my mom, and after his death, I still worshipped him even though my mom revealed some less than flattering details about his life.
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I didn’t understand this part. She allowed herself to be isolated from her daughter for so many years due to a misunderstanding, which honestly made me angry. I would have addressed that issue long ago instead of waiting for it to be acknowledged.
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I too, think Sally should have explained her relationship with her husband and Andrew. Although, truly I don’t think her friendship with Andrew was any of Ella’s business. She could have explained the letter. I don’t guarantee Ella would have accepted it however, Sally eventually had proof to show - when the estate was opened and she could see the number of vacation expenses etc. I think Sally was too willing to allow Ella to maintain her image of her father, to the point where Sally allowed that to ruin her own relationship with her daughter. It became in my view, more cruel , to almost deny Ella the one parent that still lived in order to protect her image of the one who was deceased and ultimately inaccessible to her. But the author does say Sally thought Ella might come around eventually. I would have preferred to have seen Sally stand up earlier and set the story straight.
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Tough question! I believe people have the right to the truth, and when they don’t hear it until later, the hurt deepens for them. In this story, I think her understanding of her mother might have improved, and their relationship could have been closer sooner.
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I wish Sally had told Ella about her father before his death. However, Ella was so fixated on her father that she might not have believed her mother.
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Honesty is always the best policy. Sally should have let Ella learn about her father’s actions and maybe she would have understood,. Even if she didn’t, her relationship with her mother might have been better or at least more honest.
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I don’t think Sally should have to explain herself to her daughter. Unfortunately, Ella was young and just assumed the worst. One would hope that as she had gotten older she would have reevaluated the situation and tried to have a relationship with her mother. If Ella had gone to Sally with questions then they could have sorted the situation out sooner.
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I understood why Sally didn’t tell Ella the truth because she wanted to protect her daughter’s memory of the father she adored. However, family secrets are usually not a good idea because they can have unintended consequences, as it did in this case. Ella lost years of a loving relationship with her mother because she was basing her behavior on a false believe.
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I do wonder if Sally would have been more up-front about her husband if she had known that Ella had found her letter. Sally knew Ella was angry, but really didn’t know why.
I also wonder about Sally’s decision to just stand by & wait for Ella to come to her. I think that had I been in her shoes, I would have pushed her more to find out what was up.
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I agree with all who said that the truth should have been told sooner. I think I could have related to a lapse of a few years, but this seemed much too long for the mother/daughter relationship to have such a huge misunderstanding due to not sharing the truth.
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I think Sally did what she thought was best for Ella at the time. Hind sight aside. Ella also did what she thought best. I wonder what the story would have been if either one of them had faced their own story and reactions to events. I don’t think Ella’s relationship with her mother would have been any different had she known. I think Ella needed someone to blame.
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This aspect of the book was what I disliked the most. How could a Mother be alienated from her child for so long? Where’s the grown up in this situation? I personally can’t imagine not speaking to my only child for more than a week let alone for years. And to know I had a grand child and see or meet them would just kill me. I kept saying, “Drop the past and live in the present!” Ella seemed so cruel to her Mother when Sally was the only Mother she had!