Discuss Emilie’s decision to exchange babies. Was it a good decision? Do you believe she would have made it had she not been caught by postpartum depression?
Personally I believe it was the right thing to do. Emilie knew that Rose would have a better life with Adelie who desired having a baby. Emilie would have been so encumbered with a baby and no husband to help her raise the child.
I don’t know that post-partum depression was a factor. Emilie knew that Amelie might not recover from losing her child. Emilie also knew the baby would be loved and given the best life possible. Emilie loved her baby although she had been conceived by rape. Raising the child would be difficult for Emilie, but I believe the decision was made out of love. The choice hurt Emilie deeply but she thought it was best for the baby. It was a secret she had to keep throughout her life.
3 Likes
I think it was too early for postpartum depression to have set in, but I think she was depressed by her situation before the delivery. Keller had absconded with Star and any possessions worth selling. She didn’t know for sure if the child was Kellers or the product of rape. Her mother-in-law was horrendous and I believe Emilie knew she would continue to harangue her about the baby and be a negative influence on the child. By trading the living and dead infants, she was giving her child the best chance at a happy life with loving parents.
Emilie’s decision was so heartbreaking and morally complicated. I do believe she was acting out of love and trying to give her a better chance at life. Whether it was the right decision is open for debate. Emilie says she almost turned back to hold and feed her baby and smell the sweet baby perfume of her hair. “…But what kind of life would she have as the fatherless child of a destitute mother who teetered on the thin edge of such despair that she feared for her own sanity? In a moment of darkness, might I inflict on my child the injustices Delpha had inflicted on me?” (Page 271-272) So I think the fear of what Delpha inflicted on her, Emilie thought she may possibly do to her daughter.
This thread in the story is a frayed knot to me. Look at the support that Emilie had from her Grandmother and father then Susanna. This support system was there for her baby also. This support was pledged to her. In spite of the doubts she had in herself, look at how strong she made herself. All that would have been there for her daughter as well as the challenges that she would face. To me, worrying that who her daughter really was was inflicting a shame on her that would create a secret that as Emiliie found out later would cause more problems. I do understand her depression at the time but thought her referring back to her mother would make her keep the child and love it no matter what. It is ironic, isn’t it, that Emiliie always wondered why she didn’t have the copper-colored hair of the McCains and now worries that her daughter has her own flaxen hair which sets her apart from her “own” family. Hmmm.
1 Like
I think at the time it was a good decision for Emile. She did not know if she would be able to love the child completely because she wasn’t sure who the father was. The relationship with her mother was justification to feel this way. Also, Emile is a strong-willed person who knows what she is capable of and I don’t think she would have fully accepted her daughter.
I do not think she was ready to be a mother. She was upset that Adelie’s baby had died. She did not want her to be broken hearted. So in changing the babies she was thinking of Adelie and also knowing her baby would have a better life with a mother and father. But it did end up breaking her heart.
1 Like
Emilie did not have a lot of time to make that decision, and it showed her core beliefs that children need love and stability - this was a theme throughout the book. Her decision was extremely unselfish and generous, and I think it was the best thing for the baby.
I do think it was a good decision. She loved Adelie and did not want her to go through the pain of losing her child. She knew that her child would have a better life. I think she would have still made the same decision had she not had postpartum. I think she wanted what was best for both Adelie and her own child.
I think it was a good decision and was made out of love rather than postpartum depression. She knew that Rose would have a better life with two parents that loved and wanted her. Knowing how the child was conceived might have made her wonder if she could truly love her.
It seemed a bit unreal that she could even have discovered the other baby girl had died and then switch babies. It didn’t seem like she could give it much thought in the time she had to make a decision. She just knew she wasn’t ready to take care of a baby and how devastated Adelie would be to lose her child. She saw a better future for her child with Adelie.
This was a decision that would change Emilies and Roses lives forever. I don’t think Emilie make the decision knowing what would happen in the future, even thought she had the slight - It does always work the way you hope it would. While the book didn’t explore Emilies feeling about her decision later in life, I wonder if she would have made the same decision knowing the outcome. I don’t think many women would have been capable of make the decision to give up their child - even knowing that the father/husband was a truly bad person. Then to make decide to leave the person she loved and probably would have had a wonderful life with. It was a good decision for Amelie and probably for Rose.
Emilie made some bad decisions in her life, but this was a positive one for the many reasons expressed by other readers.
I am not sure it was postpartum depression, which usually leads to taking no action because the person is exhausted, not thinking and emotionally not ready to make decisions. (Of course, each person experiencing postpartum depression can exhibit different symptoms and I am just glad that in today’s world people are more aware that it can be happening and will help the mom get help.) Instead, I think Emilie made a thoughtful and caring decision and put the child first. It was really an act of love.
It was a decision that I’m not going to second guess. It seemed she made it in the spur of the moment upon being awakened by the Sight that Adelie’s baby had died. She in all likelihood was not experiencing postpartum depression at that point as it takes 2-3 days after the hormones are released when the placenta separates from the uterine for postpartum depression to exhibit itself. She was, though, depressed, and possible severely, in the weeks leading up to her delivery which would have affected her mental processes. As a baby and child she had no bonding whatsoever with her mother which has long term effects. In addition to knowing that her child was a product of rape, either by the man who Keller pimped her to or by Keller himself, she had to be concerned about raising the child on her own with just her elderly grandmother to help her and dealing with Jane, Keller’s harpy of a mother.
As painful as her decision was, I felt it was the right one for her at the time. I didn’t think postpartum depression played a role in her choice. What seemed to weigh most heavily were the circumstances surrounding her: she had been raped twice, did not know who the father was, and had been left destitute after Keller bankrupted them. For those reasons, she believed her daughter would have a better life if she gave her up.