Billie refuses to attend important rituals, like her graduation ceremony or funerals. Why do you suppose this is? Her mother tells her she’ll regret it later. Does she? What’s your opinion about such rituals?
Billie struggles with shared social rituals, and avoiding them may be her way of avoiding confusion or emotional overwhelm. Whether she regrets it is complicated—she may intellectually understand their importance later, but that doesn’t mean they would have felt meaningful to her in the moment.
I agree with Kristine_A, and I never felt that she regretted missing those rituals. For most people, rituals help mark certain times in life. They can provide community and sense of belonging.
I think Billie is smart enough to realize that she does not handle social situations well. I don’t think she regrets not attending, and I really question why children are expected to attend funerals.
Billie was uncomfortable around others. She was socially awkward and didn’t like to be put in difficult situations. I don’t think she regretted not participating in rituals.
Billie has a different view of the world than most people. She is uncomfortable in social situations because she doesn’t “get” people and misses most social cues. Even though she tests at the genius level, people in the real world leave her mystified and uncomfortable.
I believe occasions such as weddings, funerals, graduations etc. are very important. To most people they represent rites of celebrating new beginnings, major accomplishments, or saying goodbye to loved ones. To those on the autism spectrum, however, they are often awkward occasions better left avoided.
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I agree with you! I also believe children should not have to attend funerals. My mother had a large family and I still remember the funerals when I was still in grade school.
Events like these require following social rules and reading cues, and I think avoiding them was Billie’s way of protecting herself from feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to act. I don’t think she truly regrets missing them, except that it may deepen her sense of being different from everyone else
She felt like an outsider and didn’t feel a connection to such events. I don’t think she regretted not attending.
Others have far more eloquently expressed my thoughts about Billie’s inability to follow social cues but she was true to herself for not attending Joan’s funeral. I wonder, though, if therehad been a service for her father if that could have been a grounding point for her. His death was just rushed for a young child; perhaps a formal farewell would have been helpful. Better to not attend ritual celebrations than go and be miserable but there’s something about acknowledging a milestone that is good for one’s soul, at least in some circumstances.
I completely agree with all that has been posted. The relief Billie felt by not attending these rituals would have outweighed any regrets she might have had later on.
As others have said, Billie is aware that she is socially inept and her past experiences have made her self-conscious. As far as regretting it later, I really didn’t find that to be the case. Missing those events didn’t seem to come up as regrets later. I believe that our rituals highlight important events in our and others’ lives and are meaningful to not only the persons they are honoring (with the exception of funerals!), but also those that care about those that care about those being honored. Saying that, I believe some rituals such as weddings, proms, etc. have gotten completely out of hand and ridiculously material.