Beth keeps a favorite photograph in her purse of Bobby (p. 123). Do you think this helped or hurt her healing? Do you keep a photo of a loved one with you at all times? Why or why not?
I think it helped her. If it made her feel close to her son then why not. I have pictures of my two beagles and my cat 
that lived for 17 years on my refrigerator. I love seeing their pictures!!
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Losing a child has to be one of the most traumatic experiences a person can live through. A parent would want to always remember their child, and I think a photo carried with them would help.
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Anyone I know who has lost a child of any age calls it life altering devastation. Some people like to talk about the child and find solace in keeping the memory alive; others can not bear to bring up the subject. Photographs can be consoling, whether human or beloved furry members of the family. Mobile phones allow us to have many photos with us at all times.
I think it definitely helped, her husband dealt with the loss of their son by not talking about it so the photo was Beth’s way of dealing with Bobby’s loss, the picture allowed her to reflect on him daily which her particular grief needed.
Today we have digital photos we can access 24/7 so yes I have lost family and pets members photos with me all the time, I love when everyday occurrences, birthday and holiday memories pop up on my phone!!
I think it was helpful to her because it was almost like proof of his existence. She had no one who would talk about and remember Bobby with her, so that picture was her reminder of his impact on her life.
I think she needed it. Frank clearly was closed off about their son and I think it was her way of keeping him close.
I see a photo of my Buddy everyday even though he’s been gone for 28 years. The pic is framed in a Christmas ornament, which hangs on the tree every year. Actually, I have two more photos of him in my office; three in all!
It seemed natural to me for Beth to carry Bobby’s photo. He was always nearby.
I think it helped her. Especially in light of Frank’s refusal to speak of him.
People deal with grief in different ways. I think keeping a photo of a departed loved one is helpful in processing grief. Lockets. Miniatures. Photos on iPhones, jewelry made from the hair of lost loved ones. I don’t want to forget the loved ones I’ve lost. I want to remember the good times, the warmth of beautiful memories, the milestones.
I agree with Vivian. Losing a child is so tragic for parents. It’s not the right order of things. Frank’s guilt about Bobby’s death closed him off emotionally. Beth blamed Frank and found comfort in his photograph. She also found comfort in her relationship with Leo, knowing that he was Bobby’s half brother.
I think it probably helped and hindered. Being able to hold on can be important with such a devastating loss, but the amount she looked at it seemed to be almost obsessive.
Never having lost a child however, I feel whatever it takes to make it easier to bare the lost, works for me.
Although it does seem a bit obsessive, Beth couldn’t talk about Bobby with Frank, so by carrying his photo she feels close to him. It helps her and it reminds the reader of how real and raw her grief is.
I pray I never lose a child. I did lose my first husband 24 years ago and I have a picture of him in my bedroom ,and several around the house. Luckily, my current husband does not mind at all. He was also widowed at a young age and so he knows.
I think it depends on how the person emotionally can deal with loss. I feel comforted by caring a picture or memorable item with me. I know other people find it too hurtful. It depends on the person. I think that Beth did what made her feel more secure