Bertie, Karl, and Sofie all show their grief and survivor’s guilt in different ways. What are these ways and why do you think they differ from one another?
As discussed elsewhere, Sofie resolved to live and thrive as a way of honoring the lives of those lost. She was resilient and determined, providing support and encouragement to both Bertie and Karl. Sofie did not suffer the way Bertie and Karl did. She was spared the indignities to which they were subjected, although she certainly lost people she loved deeply, including her family, because of who she was and how she lived her life.
Bertie was wracked with regret, guilt, and shame, convinced that he could and should have done more the night the Institute came under attack. He second-guessed the choices he made and actions he took that night, but the instinct to survive is strong and his life was in danger. He heard what was happening to his colleagues and knew the mob would harm or kill him, too, if they got to him. His reaction was reasonable and, in my opinion, he had nothing to be ashamed of. He also chastised himself for not staying and fighting, instead escaping to Ulm. But they had no choice. Resistance would have resulted in their deaths, most likely.
Karl managed to escape after suffering such brutality at the hands of the Nazis, and felt guilty that he survived while so many others did not. He found an opportunity to sneak away, took it, and managed to navigate his way to the farmhouse. Like Bertie, he had no reason to be ashamed or engage in self-recrimination, yet survivor’s guilt is a real psychological phenomenon that was experienced by many in the post-World War II era. They questioned why they were spared when so many others were not. Why they were lucky when millions’ good fortune ran out. What Karl, hopefully, came to realize as the years went on was that he was subjected to horrid atrocities and paid a very steep price for his life and freedom, and to live well was to honor those lost. He recognized that “history isn’t artifacts or pictures or things. It’s the people who made them. The history is us. And we’ll keep passing it on.”
Which, of course, is exactly what authors like Milo Todd are doing with books like The Lilac People. History must never be forgotten. Or repeated.
Bertie sees himself as a caretaker, especially for Sofie. He stays strong outwardly while questioning if he could have done more. He feels persistent guilt, showing his need to fix things and protect others, particularly Karl. Bertie’s role makes him feel responsible for everyone. His guilt stems from his inability to shield his loved ones from trauma, which weighs on his identity as a man and protector.
Karl’s grief and guilt are visceral and exhausting. As a Dachau survivor, he is haunted by the horrors he endured. He shows signs of PTSD—withdrawal, nightmares, and mistrust, and he sometimes lashes out or isolates himself, struggling to find a reason why he is living. Karl’s experience is harsh and vicious. His survivor’s guilt connects to the dehumanizing trauma of the camp and the arbitrariness of survival. His suffering is physical and psychological, which makes recovery more difficult.
Sofie channels her grief into caregiving. She invests in Karl’s recovery and wants to preserve memories of those lost. She needs to help others heal, as if penitence can be found through service and remembrance. She avoids her pain by focusing on others’. As a woman and nurturer, Sofie’s grief is expressed through action and emotion. Her relationship with Bertie and her connection to Karl position her as a bridge between their traumas. She carries the emotional price of both.
Their expressions differ due to their roles and the nature of their trauma. Bertie carries guilt over failing to protect, Karl over surviving atrocities, and Sofie over being unable to save more lives. Their coping mechanisms— fortitude, detachment, and caregiving—are shaped by identity and experience, emphasizing how survivor’s guilt is individual, even in a common tragedy.