Annie asks Emily why she hadn’t told Henry about her miscarriage. Emily responds that she “didn’t want to bring such sadness to our new start.” Annie concurs: “Sometimes ignorance is kinder than the truth.” What did you think of this exchange?

Book Clubs Before Dorothy by Hazel Gaynor Discussion
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Annie asks Emily why she hadn’t told Henry about the loss of their first child. Emily responds that she “didn’t want to bring such sadness to our new start.” Annie concurs: “Sometimes ignorance is kinder than the truth.” (p. 127-128). What did you think of this exchange? Do you think Annie’s sentiment is accurate?

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I think she should have told Henry.

Lies can catch up to you.

Ignorance about some things may be kinder, but I don’t think this should have been kept from Henry.

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I think Annie also did not want to tell her husband that Leo Stregone was Dorothy’s father, thus ignorance is bliss. These were both hard secrets to carry.

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I think both were referring to their own situations. Emily didn’t want Henry to morn the loss of the baby. I think it would have been better to share the truth so Emily could have had his support.
Annie had a child by another man. She was trying to hide her deceit and protect her marriage. To her, for the sake of her own security, “ignorance was bliss.”
They both responded according to their own situations.

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I understand how Emily felt, but felt she brought on a heavy burden to her marriage by keeping secrets.
Henry would have been a help to her, someone to share her sorrow.

6

I have mixed feelings about this. Perhaps it was not as awful to Emily, not having to live this sadness with Henry also. On the other hand, she still lived with it and that was difficult. Overall, I felt like it was Henry’s loss as well and I wished Emily would have shared it with him.

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I believe that Emily should have told him about the miscarriage. They would have been there to support each other. Secrets eat away at us.

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I agree with the idea that sometimes things are better left unsaid. I have those secrets myself. However, in Emily’s case I think over time she should have told Henry that she had lost a child, especially when she lost the second one.

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I think Emily should have told him. I think it would have brought them even closer, and they could have supported each other.

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While secrets can haunt you I agree that weighing the cost of sharing versus not telling is sometimes essential to maintaining meaningful relationships.

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I thought that she should have told him. He cared enough about her that knowing about the miscarriage would have made them even closer.