After her father dies, Billie finds she has trouble remembering his face. Her mother recalls being told, when her own mother died, that reciting the best memory of her, over and over, would help. Was a good strategy? Have you ever done something similar?

BookBrowse Book Club Won't Be Long Now by Elizabeth Hardinger
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After her father dies, Billie finds she has trouble remembering his face. Her mother recalls being told, when her own mother died, to recite the best memory of her, over and over, to keep their memory alive. Did you feel this was a good strategy? Have you ever done something similar?

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Oh, this is a great topic!

I am a huge fan in memorializing loved ones through digital media and/or pictures. It’s what we’re left with when a loved one passes on and pictures become precious gifts. Today’s technology makes that much easier. Billie didn’t have the means, so recalling the details was such a great tactic!

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I think this was a good strategy for Billie, especially since she didn’t have any pictures or photos of him. And it was something she could understand and could do. When I am trying to remember someone, I always focus on trying to see their face, more than think about a memory.

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It’s a hard thing to deal with, but I think many people do something similar—holding onto a specific memory, phrase, or image to keep someone “present.”

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This might sound a bit eerie, but I allow my loved ones to come to me. For example, some small detail in my life might prompt a memory of my sister. I take time to acknowledge her and listen for a spiritual message. Doesn’t always come but I believe she’s nearby. Just this morning my inner self heard my mom greet me good morning. Her message was one of reassurance regarding a current significant issue in my life.

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I am not sure about this strategy of reciting the best memory over and over. I like to bring many memories of my lost loved ones to my mind and heart.

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I think that was useful for Billie. At many funerals today, a slide show is shown depicting the loved one’s life. After my mom’s funeral, I made a digital photo album for my brothers and me using the photos from the funeral plus photos of our other family members for an album of “Our Family”.

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I like that idea, as time goes on our memories do fade. It is wonderful to have a special memory of a loved one that has gone.

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And that’s why I love officiating at funerals. I was officiating at the funeral of an very old woman, who had no children or spouse of her own. The nieces and nephews were not interested in sharing any memories of their aunt. I recounted some of the memories of people who belonged in a church choir with her. The memories were rather tepid, then suddenly, a niece stepped up, wanting to share the memory of her “maiden aunt” taking her 8 brothers and sisters by bus to see Santa. The love and the memory were there…they just needed to be encouraged.

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I love your reply, Nancy B. How special to bring back sweet memories of someone who dies alone. I do think dwelling on good memories is a way to keep your loved ones alive in your heart.

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My sibs and I enjoy remembering some of the funny episodes and experiences of our parents. We laugh. For example, why did dad give mom a fake first name when they first met? That name stuck with him as a nickname by her side of the family!

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Billie had a special place in her heart for her dad. Sometimes the things you believe will be impossible to forget start to grow dim. For me, I have a hard time recalling my father’s voice, and it is very frustrating. I like the strategy of reciting the best memory - whatever it takes to remember those whom we have loved deeply.

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I have not done something similar. Both my parents have been gone a long time, my dad 1990 my mom 1999. I would never forget their faces and I still recall their voices.

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It was a good tactic for Billie. When I’ve lost loved ones, it’s the memories that help me hold th in my heart. The sadness is slowly replaced by smiles about goof memories from the past.

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Billie’s mother’s suggestion was good as would be any suggestion on how maintain a deceased loved one’s memory. For me, it is just the feeling that my father, my wonderful granny, and especially my mother are with me in my memories as I go through my daily tasks. There are so many things throughout the day that remind of something they said or did or an event they were at. And I have their pictures sitting in a prominent place in my home. I imagine that for a child, it must be much harder to retain those memories.