Over time Eddie began to suspect the truth about that night in the ER, but he was never sure if Ivan was alive or dead. Why do you think he never looked for information about his friend? Have you ever done an internet search for someone you haven’t spoken to for decades?
Well he knew Ivan did not stay with him and Ivan never contacted him later to see if he was okay. Actually I thought this was very strange about the book, the two never finding one another. Me with the internet it is so easy to look for people from my past. At the age I am, sadly some people I would like to connect with are no longer living.
Eddie initially thought Ivan may have died, too. He rejected the idea of Ivan abandoning him in the ER. But as time passed, and Eddie matured & grew wiser, he had to accept that Ivan took off in order to protect himself. By that point, although Eddie missed their camaraderie, he did not need Ivan in his life. He understood that their friendship had severe limitations and did not have a compelling interest in attempting to find Ivan after so much time had passed. He recognized how blessed he was to have survived, and what a good life he ultimately built for himself.
I’ve used the internet to answer the “whatever happened to . . .” question a few times over the years, especially when chatting with friends and the name of someone we lost touch with has come up.
Had the internet and ease of finding people been available when Ivan disappeared I think Eddie might have searched harder for Ivan, at that time. However, there was a point where Eddie, perhaps, didn’t want to really know what happened with Ivan that night. Then, once Eddie had more life experience, matured and moved on, and he could more easily search for Ivan, he no longer needed him, and I suspect he didn’t want to risk that type of relationship in his life any more. That coincides with his belief that Ivan left him behind willfully. I have been “ found” by many of my long ago friends. Sometimes it has been a joyful finding and one that has again proved long lasting. It seems as we hit our middle age and have that lull when our kids are more independent , my group has been looking back and realizing there are people we left behind or lost touch with that we would like to reconnect with. We also are looking critically at our lives and asking a lot of questions .
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I thought they would try harder to find each other. Maybe not knowing was a better option for Ivan. Maybe it was a better option for Eddie as well.
I think Eddie knew Ivan had left him. Although he toyed with the idea that Ivan may have died that night as well, he never committed to that idea. Eddie cut all his ties after ODing; NYC, heroin, Ginger and I think Ivan was part of that.
Paula, This has happened to me as well. Friends’ names will cross my mind, and I’ll think I haven’t heard from them in so long that I wonder if they have moved. Then I google a name and an obituary pops up.
I’m sure that as Eddie suspected the truth, he lost interest in having contact with Ivan. However, it was a totally different society then, without mobile phones and numerous social media sites and online newspapers.
When Eddie gave up his drug life and make something of himself, he didn’t try to find Ivan because Ivan was part of the past that almost killed him. He had to move on. I didn’t detect ill will for Ivan from Eddie. Ivan was just part of the past.
I did wonder why he didn’t look for him, but maybe he just didn’t want to know..because really either way it’s not good. Either your best friend left you to die OR something terrible happened to them. Oh yes, I look up people on the Internet all the time LOL!
Perhaps they both knew it would be better for each of them to stay apart. Their friendship was primarily connected to their drug use. If they reunited during the vulnerable time right after the OD, perhaps they would have both continued with the drug use and ended up in a worse place.
I really didn’t think much about why he did not look for Ivan but I think he realized they screwed up and he wanted to leave that part of his life behind.
After Ivan up and left him, and then never contacted him again to see about his health, why would he even care if Ivan survived?
He did initially make some attempts to contact Ivan. The nurse tried calling, he rang his doorbell, and walked around thinking he might have collapsed and died outside. Life goes and he had to take care of himself and live his life. I have thought of people that I knew earlier in life and sometimes have reconnected.
Eddie was headed in a different direction after the overdose, so I think trying too hard to find Ivan may have scared him. Perhaps he was scared to find out if he was dead or alive. If he was found alive, he may have felt obligated to continue the drug lifestyle with Ivan. Not finding him may have kept Eddie “clean”.
As others have mentioned, had it been in today’s times, with technology and such, it would have been much easier to find him or even bump into him.
I’ve done many searches of people from my past 
Great question! This is where the book fell apart for me. Of course they would have used resources to reconnect.
Guilt. I’m always interested in people I’ve known in the past, so yes.
Guilt. It takes hold of your soul and festers. Sometimes people think they can forget bad decisions in their mind, but they’re always there, unless the person is a sociopath.
For one thing, it wasn’t as easy back in the day to find people you have disconnected with. No internet. Phones were still attached to the wall. Etc. I don’t think that Eddie could believe that Ivan would leave him after he was so severely injured. He was likely so hurt by this that he didn’t even want to go after him even though they had been so close.
I think it was interesting that both characters made up stories that they thought could have happened to the other person. I think it was almost too hurtful for Eddie to try and find Ivan because he believed he was his best friend and probably couldn’t understand how he could abandon him at the hospital like that. I dont know why Ivan didn’t try to find out what happened to Eddie after the incident, except that he felt too guilty and maybe didn’t think he could face him after that night. I wish they could have met up later in life and worked through it all though. They were so young when this incident happened, I believe there could have been some forgiveness from Eddie that might have helped Ivan get over the incident. They truly missed each other and never forgot each other though.
I have tried to look up someone that I hadn’t seen in a long time on the internet before. It probably wasn’t as easy to find people back in the 70s and 80s though.