Olivia believes that Margot’s and Mark’s memories about what happened may be colored by their friendships with Poppy and Danny. Do you think you could recall something with complete accuracy? Do you have particular memories that you know are clouded by your feelings at the time?
Yes I think their memories were colored by their friendships with Danny and Poppy. They thought they remembered the way the siblings acted towards each other. Siblings always have problems off and on. I believe I have a pretty good memory of certain things, but others not so much!
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Yes I definitely feel their memories were colored by their friendships. And perhaps became even more clouded as the murders were reported and theories about the murderer were rumored. And perhaps became even more clouded as time went by. I have no doubt that many of my memories are inaccurate and have changed over time.
I think everyone has their own perspective of an event and it is shaded by their views. You can assume a certain motivation, but someone else assumes an entirely different motive which takes them down a different path. Communication is very tricky.
I think Margot’s and Mark’s memories were definitely shaped by their friendships with Poppy and Danny. I also think that whatever ideas they had about Vincent probably were compounded and solidified because of what the people around them thought and said. I don’t think anyone can remember something with complete accuracy; we all have bias, and our memories are so tied to how we felt in a particular moment. It’s actually a fun exercise to look back on things now as an adult and talk to other people who were there. Sometimes our versions of the same event are totally different, which really shows how much our feelings shape what we remember.
We do tend to edit as we age! After the author revealed Mr. Stewart’s criminal behavior, I wondered if Mark might have heard rumors. Sadly, there was a teacher in my high school whose behavior was similar. Did I know it then? A lot of us had suspicions but never openly talked about those rumors. He left the district but then returned a few years later. Same behaviors emerged. I’ve wondered if the administration knew or at least had some parents complain but nothing was done. He left a second time never to return but moved on to another school district. The 50s and 60s were a different time, but I still read/hear of stories about sexual encounters between teachers and students. And so, Stewart’s role in the murders is very credible.
I definitely think that Margot and Mark’s memories were clouded by their friendships with Poppy and Danny. I think that some of my memories are clouded by my feelings at the time and my interaction with certain people
Everyone’s memories are a product of their perspective and emotions. We cannot be 100% rational in our memories. They are stories we remember made up of how we saw and felt during the events themselves.
They definitely are. I remember a few years ago sharing a particular memory with my brother from when we were kids, and how much that particular memory has influenced me over the years, and he had absolutely no idea what I was talking about lol. Also, I often think about how two people can be involved in the exact same situation but come out of it with completely different impressions and memories of it, based on their mindset, their life experiences, or even just their perspectives.
I sometimes feel like I barely remember what I ate for lunch a few days ago, so trying to remember things from the past are definitely going to be both clouded and influenced by friendships. Relationships change over time and so do memories.
This is a great question and one I thought a lot about when reading the book. It comes up a lot with me and my adult children. We will talk about an event and our memories are never the same! In my mind I am clear and in their minds they are clear. I also love it when they disagree about what happened with each other LOL. But it is a bit scary when you realize you can experience the same actvity/event, but remember things so differently!
Friendship can definitely affect memories. Over time, your memory of some events changes and you begin to remember things differently. I have shared important memories with family that no one remembers at all or they remember the event totally differently – so whose memory is correct?